Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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