I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
