If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
