So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
