Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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