She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
sex in a hospital.. check
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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