Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
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