i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
