I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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