terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
