Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
