Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Randomize
