Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
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