is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
You ate ashes out of my bong
Randomize
