This dress was meant to end up on your floor
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
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