Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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