Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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