This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
