You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
