you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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