He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
