I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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