and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
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