sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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