My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
