I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
