My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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