I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Randomize
