Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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