He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
