I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
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