i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
You have to summon your inner elephant
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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