she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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