will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize
