You smell like stripper and shame
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Randomize
