I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
