I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
