time to smoke my breakfast
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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