He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
there is puke in my bra ... again
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
