I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
