Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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