there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
not ubering you a puppy
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize