i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
