my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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