wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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