Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
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