she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I don't want my vagina anymore.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
