I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
