Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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