You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize