this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Randomize
