I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Randomize
