He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
