yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
