I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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