Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
