I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Randomize
