apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
