You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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