Me. At least after what I've been through.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize